Real Housewives of the National Gallery

Posted on November 4th, 2016

Welcome to the National Gallery, London edition! If you’re looking for an English rose, you better move on to the next garden, mate. From kinks to vices and all the naughty bits in between, find out what these thorny women are into! These aristocratic ladies are redefining what it means to be a  Real Housewife! Get ready, lads.

Edgar Degas. Miss La La at the Cirque Fernando. 1879.


“I LOVE SHROOMS!”

 

Paul Delaroche. The Execution of Lady Jane Grey. 1833.


“When it comes to foreplay, I don’t mess around.”

 

Rogier van der Weyden. The Magdalen Reading. 1438.


“This girl is the nastiest skank bitch I’ve ever met. Do not trust her. She is a fugly slut!”

 

Cosimo Tura. A Muse (Calliope?). 1455-60.


“Damn bitch snatched my eyebrows AND my hairline.”

 

Johannes Vermeer. Lady Standing at a Virginal. 1670-72.


“If only he would tickle my ivories.”

 

Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres. Angelica Saved by Ruggiero. 1819-39.


“I don’t like to use safe words.”

 

Master of Saint Veronica. Saint Veronica with the Sudarium. 1420.


“I love tailgate parties!”

 

Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres. Madame Moitessier. 1856.


“When he fuck me good, I take his ass to Red Lobster, cause I slay.”

 

 

 

 

Image Credits:

1. https://www.nationalgallery.org.uk/paintings/hilaire-germain-edgar-degas-miss-la-la-at-the-cirque-fernando

2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Execution_of_Lady_Jane_Grey

3. https://www.nationalgallery.org.uk/paintings/rogier-van-der-weyden-the-magdalen-reading

4. https://www.nationalgallery.org.uk/paintings/cosimo-tura-a-muse-calliope

5. https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3d/Jan_Vermeer_van_Delft_-_Lady_Standing_at_a_Virginal_-_National_Gallery,_London.jpg

6. https://www.nationalgallery.org.uk/paintings/jean-auguste-dominique-ingres-angelica-saved-by-ruggiero

7. https://www.nationalgallery.org.uk/paintings/master-of-saint-veronica-saint-veronica-with-the-sudarium

8. https://www.nationalgallery.org.uk/paintings/jean-auguste-dominique-ingres-madame-moitessier

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